Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Chimpanzee Funeral

The chimpanzees quieted their usual chatter and simply stood, holding one another silently as they bid goodbye to their friend. Understandably, human onlookers were touched, particularly since they knew this wasn't the first emotional separation the chimpanzees had experienced.

Wonder what would have happened if the fence wasn't there.
Probably THIS.

Say Cheese, Travis. Or Not.

An attorney says a Connecticut woman whose chimpanzee mauled and blinded her friend has died.
Robert Golger says his client, Sandy Herold, died Monday night of a ruptured aortic aneurysm. Herold owned a 200-pound (90-kilogram) chimpanzee named Travis who went berserk in February 2009 after Herold asked her friend, Charla Nash, to help lure it back into her house in Stamford. The animal ripped off Nash's hands, nose, lips and eyelids. Nash recently underwent a preliminary evaluation to determine whether she is a potential candidate for a face and hand transplant at a Harvard-affiliated hospital. Nash's family has sued Herold for $50 million and wants to sue the state for $150 million. The family says state officials failed to prevent the attack.


Thursday, February 25, 2010

Haunted By Travis

In an interview in Stamford police headquarters on Tuesday, Officer Chiafari, 53, a husband and a father of three, described that day and the crippling depression and anxiety that followed. He was haunted not just by the frightening encounter with the bloody and enraged chimp who outweighed him by 50 pounds, but also by images of the victim in the driveway. "I’d go to the mall and see women and imagine them without faces," he said.

Officer Chiafari required therapy but was denied a worker’s compensation claim. The reason was that harrowing episodes involving a person — shooting a suspect, for example — would be covered but similar encounters with animals were not.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Murders in the Rue Morgue

By Berni Wrightson.

Chimp vs. Pacman

Ms. Pacman to be exact.

I don't want to be around when he sees "Game Over."

Travis Update II

An Ohio hospital has told the family of a Connecticut woman mauled and blinded by a chimpanzee a year ago that it cannot perform a face and hand transplant for her, a family attorney said Monday.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Attempted Rape (Update)

X-rays from the previously-mentioned attack at a Russian Zoo.


Simple Math


Travis Update

Against all odds, Charla survived the brutal attack though the chimp broke most of the bones in her face and ripped off her nose, lips, eyes and hands. A large portion of her scalp is missing, she only has one thumb, and doctors have created a hole in her face for her to get fluids through a straw.


Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Jacko's treasured pet chimp was a source of joy to the singer and drew a lot of mockery from the media. The chimpanzee lived with Jackson through the 80's and accompanied the singer to movie premieres, parties, and recording sessions. The pair often dressed in similar outfits.
Bubbles: Looking bleached and wealthy.


Feeding Time

The animals escaped from 'Chimp Island' and found their way into a keeper area where their food is prepared, the zoo said.



Sunday, June 7, 2009

Exorcist Leopard Getting Attacked

Click the image to watch:

Fidel Castro in the hidden control room is a gas.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Board Room

Write Your Congressman! squash this bill:

The Great Ape Protection Act, recently reintroduced in Congress, would phase out invasive research on chimpanzees. This overdue legislation would prohibit isolation, social deprivation, and other procedures detrimental to the health and psychological well-being of chimpanzees. It would also require the release of federally owned chimpanzees to sanctuaries and make permanent the federal moratorium on breeding chimpanzees for research.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

How To Survive An Attack

Step 1: Be wary
Be wary of chimps older than eight; that’s when they start to become volatile. A full-grown chimp, standing 3 to 5 feet tall and weighing up to 250 pounds, has five to ten times the strength of a same-size human being.
Male chimps seek to establish dominance over their family during adolescence, making them especially dangerous between ages 8 and 17.

Step 2: Don't underestimate them
Don’t underestimate their intelligence. The two male chimps that attacked a couple in 2005 got out of their cage by picking the lock.

Step 3: Don't show fear
If you think you’re in danger of being attacked, don’t show fear. Chimps don’t pick fights they don’t think they can win. If a chimp believes you have dominance, they’re less likely to attack.

Step 4: Protect your face
If a chimp makes a move toward you, protect your face: It’s the first thing they’ll go after. They also target fingers, hands, feet, testicles, noses, and ears. If you’re attacked, try to curl up into a ball to make those areas difficult to reach.

Step 5: Wear gear
If you’re going to be around an adult chimp, don the protective gear that animal handlers wear – face masks, goggles, rubber gloves, and boots.

Slight miscalculation.


Attempted Rape

"When I tried to pass a banana to him, the chimpanzee grabbed my hand and pulled me into the cage and tried to rape me," said Valentina. She was only saved when her screams brought other keepers running. One keeper said: "It's a serious matter. If that had been a member of the public we would all be in court by now."


Super Deluxe

Scariest costume EVER.

I'd carry around a rubber human body part to make it believable and accurate. Maybe just a latex mask like I tore off a face.

Buy your own HERE.

Monday, May 18, 2009

$50,000 Disease Factory

Chimpanzee breeders are in the business of selling chimpanzees (~$50,000 each) not educating their customers about the hazards of pet ownership.

ALL primates potentially carry diseases deadly to humans including Herpes B, Yellow Fever, Monkeypox, Ebola virus, Marburg virus, SIV, HIV and tuberculosis.

A chimp about to paint the town red [with Fever].


Not So Scary Now

Sure he is.