Friday, April 17, 2009

Chimp Care For Dummies

Chimp-proof your home by making sure anything breakable or valuable is in a safe place when the chimpanzee is free.
Clean and disinfect the chimpanzee's space daily. He'll urinate, defecate and possibly masturbate over everything. Be ready.

Make sure there's sunlight for the chimp to provide essential vitamin D; otherwise, provide the vitamin D orally.

Don't leave the chimpanzee unwatched while she's free.

They forgot:
Fasten a neck choke explosive device around your chimpanzee's neck (as seen in the film THE RUNNING MAN) to be detonated if your chimpanzee glances at you in a hungry fashion.

Full instructions here.

No comments:

Post a Comment